I just spend an entire hour writing this blog but I accidentally removed it and now I have to start ever again. Ironically enough: it was on a part where I said I didn't believe failure exists and maybe it was the universe its way to tell me its like that: deal with it when things go wrong! So the one-hour-blogpost I wrote is gone because I spend so much time thinking about it so I'm going to keep it short: How can I make my dream come true?
(my 101 experience from the past year & what worked for me).
I write this blogpost inspired on two very recent conversations I've had because I'm the person behind "Sheridan's Art". In both cases people reached out to me (indirectly) because they where struggling with their dream in a very human way and they wanted to talk about it.
Since two months I run a full-time photography business and before that I had a few months of being part-time self-employed. So I'm not a newbie yet I'm just at the early first steps of my career. I graduated just a year ago as photography student so I dare to say: thats an achievement. Because don't we all know "that photography is dead?"
My first conversation was with someone who reached out to me after liking a lot of my work in no-time and reaching out to me on three separate channels (my educational group, my private inbox & finally my page). This person told me there was a dream (just like mine) to inspire people & educate just like I did. That I can only encourage. However, 30 minutes later and off that 20 minutes of me asking to stop talking I found myself incredibly drained out emotionally because the flood of negativity was so overwhelming I couldn't feel like I was talking to the biggest brick wall I've ever encountered. Every little thing I said was answered by sentences like "my dreams are dead"; "I'm just gave up hope I guess" ; "I'm too old" , "I'm too inexperienced ; "I had too much problems" ...
My second conversation is with someone who I'm (I will call it) coaching who is also working hard to make his business come from the ground yet he is faced with some incredibly heavy shit before (some things he told me, the rest I could just feel between the sentences).
Both of them had serious things happening and I have full aware of how that can impact a life (I come from a good family who's very supportive but life is life. Things can happen. None of you need to know the details neither do they matter as I try to see life not as a scale of "from 1 to 99 this is that bad compared to yours which makes your less horible and mine worse". Shit is shit, bluntly said. It sucks.
I basically told them the same thing, I do not sugarcoat and I can only speak from my own experience as it is. With one I just almost begged to stop talking because I felt so emotionally worn out after a short while because I was met with such negativity. The other took it all in, as bluntly as I had said it. He gave it a night to think about and came back to me telling me I had some valid points.
Before I continue: I'm not mother Theresa. In fact, in the past year I've both been person 1 (mostly that and I was confronted with my old behavior in a very personal way) as person 2 (what I'm trying to be & live by now mindset-wise). Thats why I write this blog: I'm a human being. You're a human being. Its okay to feel and to be in a bad place. The difference is that at one point, its worth fighting for "getting out there" no matter what. Because in the end: this is your one & only life and you can decide to live it in miserable thoughts and thinking all is a failure. Or you can pick up the pieces & make it work. Its not easy. Its not a 'one night sleep job & done'. You will continue to make mistakes & fuck up. But in the end, at one point. I honestly believe that happiness is not about achieving your dreams. Its about the road you're doing and finding self-validation out of not stopping to believe in what you are aspiring to do because your dreams are made out of this beautiful idea.
Happiness is a real thing. It's not a "current state". Its flowing & going & rising & falling. It might disappear at some days and come back full force shortly after. It's not measured. It is. Its the best lesson I've ever learned in this year. Quit the things that make you feel sad and work towards the things that make you feel good. Stop scrolling through social media. Stop whining on facebook. Stop thinking "I don't have enough money/I'm too old/I failed everywhere already/.... *insert your mantra here".
Dreams are made of dedication, hard work, time, not a lot of money and mostly even more discipline. It's the discipline to keep believing and saying "fuck you" to failures because you will have a lot of them. And I don't believe in failures anymore. Its like a relationship "that didn't work out". Take it, cry about it, learn from it & find a better one. It might take a few sunken boats. Or a full sea off it. But one day you will find the good one & that is what dreams are made off. You will get "days with no wind" and days with the most beautiful sunrise and a good force or nights its storming so hard & you can see the kraken rise up from the depths ... But it all passes at one point. Good times, bad times, middle times, calm times, ...
Stop whining. Find a way to make it work. You are the only one in charge of your life and what you do with it.
Never said it was easy. A lifes route to "happiness and achieving dreams" is for everyone different. But since a kid I wrote success stories and there was always the same underlying message:
Never give up. No matter what.
And even if you don't succeed ... you will be able to die with the idea that at least you tried every little bit you could. For me thats my biggest motivation when all else fails: dying with the thought that at least I tried and I won't have regrets I wasted my life.
(oh and you're rarely alone. Social media CAN be a gift. Just use it wisely :)
Also very importantly: this is just MY EXPERIENCE with it. I'm not a guru not a mother theresa. But I do have found what "gave me success" and happiness. And I want to share that.)